Effective Use of Textual Evidence (AO2)

Whilst choosing appropriate evidence is a vital part of achieving success at A Level, it is just as important that you do something with it. Look at the examples below and the commentary with them and try to model your own analytical writing on the last two examples.

Things to avoid:

Narrative summary

e.g. After being picked up by Walton’s crew, Victor tells his whole story to Walton who becomes really fond of him. When Victor dies, Walton finds the creature standing over Victor’s body. He then tells Walton the end of this story before jumping out of the ship window, never to be seen again.

This is really just story telling. If you are using lots of temporal discourse markers, you are probably just relating the events. There are no quotations used and nothing that shows your own thoughts about the book

Description

e.g. Victor comes from a close family who are well respected in their area. They show great kindness by adopting Elizabeth, whose mother is too poor to raise her and taking in Justine, whose mother does not like her. Despite their kindness, they suffer greatly throughout the novel.

This is marginally better than the previous one as the student has shown a little more knowledge of what the characters are like, but it is still very narrative with a few descriptive bits added. There are still no quotations.

Identification and Feature Spotting

e.g. Shelley creates atmosphere effectively in Chapter 5. She describes how “the rain pattered dismally against the panes”. This is an example of pathetic fallacy.

This is a little better again as the students is now making a specific reference to part of the book and has included a quotation. However, you don’t get credit for simply labelling a feature or technique – you need to develop your point and talk about the effect of the quotation and technique.

Commentary

e.g. Victor comes from a close family but there are some things which make the family seem unusual. Victor describes how he was “guided by a silken cord” by his parents which shows that they have a lot of control over him.

This is improving. An interesting quotation has been chosen, and the student makes a valid comment on what it shows but it lacks any real detail or analysis of the writer’s craft.

What you are aiming for:

Analysis

e.g. When Victor describes himself as his parents “plaything and their idol”, Shelley introduces some ambiguous ideas. The noun “plaything” suggests they almost objectified him and that he may have existed just for their amusement whereas the noun “idol” instead suggests that he was worshipped by his parents. By juxtaposing these ideas, Shelley may have been trying to help the reader understand why Victor abandons his creation just after he brings it to life – his strange ideas about parenthood appear to come from his own upbringing.

In this paragraph, the student considers the effect of the evidence on the reader and explores its significance on the text as a whole.

Sustained Critical Analysis

e.g. The way Victor describes his family to Walton allows Shelley to generate a slightly ambiguous impression of his upbringing. On the one hand, he describes his mother’s “tender caresses” and his father’s “smile of benevolent pleasure” clearly indicating affectionate and loving parents through the positive lexis. However, when Victor says that he was “their plaything and their idol” this impression of love does not seem as simple and innocent; the noun “plaything” suggests they almost objectified him and that he may have existed just for their amusement, which could also indicate that he was not taken seriously. The noun “idol” juxtaposes the idea of him not being taken seriously, instead suggesting that he was worshipped by his parents. This suggestion of over-indulgence could imply to the reader that Victor’s upbringing meant he was used to his decisions and whims going unchallenged, which may have been why he did not question the ethical implications of creating the creature. Indeed, the way Victor abandons his project as soon as he perceives what he has done, could be seen as him treating the creature as “plaything” which he feels no responsibility for.

As with the last example, in this paragraph, the student considers the effect of the evidence on the reader and explores its significance on the text as a whole. Here though, the analysis is more detailed and developed and considers how evidence works alongside other evidence. This creates a more critical, evaluative voice.